From Tension to Relaxed Empowerment—Eva's Birth Story

Heather hired me after sharing the story of her previous birth and knowing she wanted something different this time. With her firstborn, she labored sitting rigidly in the hospital bed gripping the rails with white knuckles the whole time. She described the contractions as intense and overall it was an unpleasant experience.

As I started talking with her and her partner in our initial consult, I explained the fear, tension, pain cycle, and how we can actually decrease pain in labor by breaking that cycle. I shared with Heather and her partner how I like to join my clients in their home if possible before going to the hospital so she could let early labor blossom in the comfort of her own nest. I described how birth is a lot like getting a cork out of a bottle--you and baby both have to wiggle back and forth, so moving during the contractions can be a helpful coping technique. It was like a lightbulb went off in Heather's head as she realized how different things could be this time around. They hired me on the spot, and we began to prepare for the birth three months later.
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When the day rolled around, Heather contacted me in the evening and let me know that contractions were 8 to 13 minutes apart. I suggested she get in a warm bath and see if contractions continued (a good way to tell if this is labor day or if it will peter out). They continued, so I headed out and arrived at their home at 9 p.m. to see her sitting on the edge of her bed with contractions coming much closer together. She looked at me with fear and disappointment in her eyes and said, "I'm just falling right back into the same tension habits! It's going to be the same as last time!" 

"Oh no it's not," I encouraged her, "we just need to help you find your rhythm." I jumped right in, coaching her to let every muscle relax into the next contraction. That made it feel more manageable, as did standing, leaning into the wall and swaying her hips. She remarked on the noticeable difference. 

We utilized a lot of different positions at home, giving baby every chance to get into the best position possible for birth. Heather found lying down to be a good spot for releasing tension and breathing through the contractions.

Finally, at 11 p.m., Heather said it was time to go to the hospital. Her partner had been running around loading things in the car, and helping put their firstborn to bed for the grandparents. In such situations, it really takes pressure off for dads to know that mom is supported by a doula who is totally keyed in on her needs. 

​Breathing through a contraction on the way to the car...

Before heading out, I pulled the dad aside and gave him my typical spiel, that this was not an emergency, we had time, so to drive safely to the hospital and watch out for deer (instead of recklessly like in the movies). He wasn't certain which door was the hospital night access once we got there, so it was decided they would follow my car. As soon as we got going, I regretted my words. I drove the speed limit, but way behind me, creeping slowly along at 40 mph. was their car. "Come on! We've got a baby on the way!" I thought to myself, picturing Heather saying "go faster" and him arguing, "but Melanie said..." Finally we got there, and I heard the real story. At every crack in the pavement, my client was saying, "careful! slow down!" Phew. At least we made it before she started feeling pushy.

We were able to establish a good coping rhythm by laboring at home first, so once at Mercy Regional Medical Center, we fell right back into that rhythm. Checking in at 8 cm. dilated was perfect for staying in the zone. My client was oblivious to the monitors; she was totally focused on staying relaxed, and connected with her baby. You can see dad doing the hip counter pressure here that helped relieve intensity. And notice mom's relaxed hand here compared to last time when she gripped the rail with clenched jaw.

Before an hour passed, it was time to have a baby! The obstetrician suggested breaking her water, but Heather had that happen last time and it made things much more intense for her (by removing the cushion between baby and the pelvic bones). She didn't like it, so this time she looked to me. I stayed quietly supportive, knowing she knew just what she wanted to say, and she got to take the reins and ask the Dr. if it would be ok to let the water break on its own. And break on its own it did! With a waterfall upwards! 

Baby Eva was so big, it made the victory celebration all the bigger--9 lbs., 6 oz! 

Look at how big Eva is. She's the size of a three month old! 

I got to share my birthday with a doula baby for the first time because of the timing of Eva's birth. There's nowhere else I would have rather been to celebrate! Welcome to the world, sweet girl! It was an honor to support your family during this momentous time.